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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday Spotlight: Laura Kaye

Women’s Top Sexual Fantasies, Part Deux

Yesterday, I talked about some of women’s most commonly held sexual fantasies, including force fantasies, being a bad girl, group sex (the fantasy at the heart of my 9/30 release, Just Gotta Say), exhibitionism, and voyeurism. While these often rank among the top-five of women’s sexual fantasies, there are quite a few other arousing scenarios women frequently mention in surveys. These are too damn delicious not to explore in a little more details. So…

Stranger. Dangerous in so many ways in real life, the fantasy of picking up a complete stranger and having a wild night of sex with him is pretty consistently toward the top of women’s sexual fantasy lists. The stranger fantasy opens up a world where no-holds-barred, no-strings-attached, no-emotional-baggage sex exists, and the entire encounter can just be about chasing down mind-blowing sexual release. It’s hard to argue with that one.

Domination. Many women dream of using and controlling a man for her complete and total pleasure. In this fantasy, the woman might demand a man’s silence. or require that he can’t touch her. She might order him to his knees and command he pleasure her with his mouth. This one appeals to many women because it allows them the free and full expression of their sexual needs and desires. It allows them to confidently take what they want—not just ask or hope their partner will know to give it to them. Some women take their fantasizing about stepping into the traditional male role a step further and include strap-on play as part of the fun—penetration is the ultimate form of domination, after all.

Submission. In this top fantasy, a woman dreams of turning over total control to the man. He makes all decisions, commands her compliance, gives or withholds pleasure at his discretion, and uses her for his own satisfaction. Like the force fantasy, submission is appealing because a woman is relieved of the control and decision-making that characterizes so much of her daily life. Unlike the force fantasy, however, the submission fantasy is consensual—a woman voluntarily gives over her control.

Role-Playing. Also related to the Bad Girl fantasy I discussed yesterday, this fantasy is about you and/or your partner adopting a new persona. In this way, it can also be a form of the stranger fantasy, depending on just how detailed the role playing is. Popular role plays include daddy-daughter, teacher-student, officer-lawbreaker, employer-employee, and prostitute-john. Often common in role-playing fantasies is a power differential that makes the liaison dangerous, illicit and inappropriate.

This list is, of course, by no means complete. But it is interesting and informative that the same fantasies tend to appear over and over in survey results about women’s sexual fantasies. Clearly, there are some things that turn many, many of us on, even if we would never try them in real life. So, what do you think? Are you surprised by any on yesterday’s and today’s list? Feel I miss something totally fantastic? Share your thoughts on fantasies, and come on back tomorrow when I discuss what fantasies rev men up…

Thanks for reading,
Laura Kaye



ABOUT THE AUTHOR: A multi-published author of paranormal, contemporary and erotic romance, Laura Kaye’s hot, heartfelt stories are all about the universal desire for a place to belong. Laura is the author of the bestselling contemporary romance Hearts in Darkness and the bestselling and award-nominated paranormal romance Forever Freed. Just Gotta Say is Laura’s third published book, and her fourth, North of Need (Book 1 in the Hearts of the Anemoi Series) releases on November 1. Laura lives in Maryland with her husband, two daughters, and cute-but-bad dog, and appreciates her view of the Chesapeake Bay every day.


Leave a comment on today's post for a chance to win one of three E-book copies of Just Gotta Say (releases 9/30 from Decadent Publishing. Winners will be chosen by WC on Saturday. The Just Gotta Blog Tour features giveaways at every stop.


Anne R said...

Good morning.

Love the article. I think when it comes to fantasies, woman (and maybe men) want something different than what they are use to. It is not like you picture the well dressed executive, doctor or lawyer as some sex kitten but maybe she is. This is why I think submission, stranger, role playing , groups, etc.. surface so often. People want to escape and they are curious by nature. Some people figure out ways to indulge their fantasies while others can only think about the possibilities.

I can't wait to read this book.

areeths at new dot rr dot com

Laura Kaye said...

I love your thoughts on this, Anne, and definitely agree. I think that's why role playing can fit into relationships so well, it allows that curiosity and escapism to have its moment, but within the confines of a safe relationship. Great way to start off the conversation!

heather said...

Ahhh, the good ole 'sex with a stranger.' Boy I miss my younger days, lol. To me it wasn't so much of the danger of but the fact he didn't have my phone number and I wouldn't see him at work the next day (or ever again if I was lucky). Yeah, thats right, when I was no strings attached I mean it, haha!

Blue Shedevil said...

I'm a total control freak so submission is not my personal thing, but the role playing and having him at my mercy is .....grrrrr. This sounds like a "must read". Thanks for the giveaway.

Laura Kaye said...

Heather, I'm always loving your comments woman!

Blue, yep, that's a totally delicious one!

Tanya said...

I think roleplay sometimes would help keep a relationship from getting dull and I have Just Gotta Say on my list of books to get soon.

Laura Kaye said...

So agree, Tanya. A few hours of slipping into someone else's shoes can makes things fresh and new! Thanks for the TBR! :)

Wicked Leanore said...

I thought my spots and books were racy, but hey Ms. Kaye. You are way ahead of Wicked Leanore. Great stuff and I am going to print it out and use as a guidline, lol

Laura Kaye said...

LOL WL too funny, but also awesome! Been talking about fantasies all week ~ they're the perfect segue into my new release! :)

Thanks for commenting!

PaigeTurner said...

Whew, is it hot in here, or is it just me??? :-)

I was lucky enough to have a sneak preview of this book--can't wait to read the real thing!
Beth W

Luv2laugh82 said...

Role playing with domination and some submission....yeah that sounds just about right!!

Luv2laugh82 at verizon dot net
Jeanne S.

Nay Nay said...

I "JUST GOTTA SAY" I love the article and the fantasies.

Thank you for the chance to win a copy of your book.

reneebennett35 at yahoo dot com

Laura said...

Wow, Robin. Fun post! Now I hve to find yesterday's ... :D
Laura DT

Laura said...

Excuse me! I just checked back in - Laura, it's so difficult to remember your name (cough) that I called you another of our MRW buddy's name! My profuse Apologies!

I still like the blog :D

Laura (or another name, if you prefer)

Shelley Munro said...

Good post. Fantasies are an excellent way of fulfilling our needs. The ones you mention are also fodder for erotic romance authors too ;-)

Laura Kaye said...

LOL Beth/Paige - thanks for stopping by again!

Luv/Jeanne - great enthusiasm! :)

NayNay - glad you enjoyed! Good luck!

Laura - I was totally confused at first! LOL But you can mix me up with Robin Kaye any time!

Shelley - so true! Our ideas have to come from somewhere! That they're based in truth just makes them that much better!

Thanks for all the great comments, guys!

Kaitlyn said...

I love the submission fantasy. I am in charge of so many things in my daily life and have always worn the pants in my relationships, so being submissive and not having to make decisions is definitely a big appeal.

Great post!


Laura Kaye said...

That's exactly what people find so appealing about it, Kaitlyn! Thanks for sharing! Woot! Loving the conversations over here this week! :)

Ipro55 said...

Love the article! What I find interesting is that no one seems the least bit surprised at what's come up on the list of fantasies thus far. lol Can't wait to see what else is on the list.

Laura Kaye said...

lpro! I totally agree with that, and I think it's really informative all on its own! Great comment!

June M. said...

I think it is good to know that alot people have the same fantasies, no matter what their other differences in life. I know I tend to read alot of books based on my favorite fantasies, and have even added some fantasies that I would never have imagined thanks to books.
June M.
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

Laura Kaye said...

Awesome, June, totally agree!