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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday Spotlight: Anita Philmar

Spring is in the Air
Time to Add A Little Fun to Your Sex Life

The process of making love in the same old way can get boring. Admit it and you’re half way to curing the problem. Finding time, opportunity, and energy might also add to the problem. After all, who can make a grand production every time they want to jump between the sheets?

The single most important way to alleviate the problem is communication. Man or woman, sometimes the people that we love don’t see the things the same way we do. If you can talk about what you want or what you’d like to try, then you can get feedback and develop a plan to make it better for both of you.

“Our sex life is boring”
“I agree.”
“How can we change it?”
“Don’t know.”
Don’t let the conversation end here.

Now in every article about the subject, most experts say to try different positions. Okay, it changes things up but it doesn’t necessarily add some fun, not unless you are a contortionist. Change for change sake might help for a little while but it won’t increase the fun factor.

“So what will?”
“A change in attitude.”
“Oh, no, the awful statement about changing my attitude. Look, I’m tired, busy with my kids and my job. I don’t have time to play at sex. I want to get in, get out and go to sleep.”

“Fair enough and I can relate, but I never said this would be easy. Having fun is hard work, just look at every sport out there.”

Let’s first look at a way to find ideas that will increase the fun factor.
  1. Read erotica – find a scene in a book that you think might be fun to try, have your lover read it. Then come up with a way to do it.
Example: In my first book “Black Dragon Blood” they make love in a hot tub.

Amanda took a seat on the other side of the tub from the stairs. “I just want to rinse off.”

She slid under the water. Her hair floated for a moment before she came back up. She stood and started past him. 

He stayed her with his hands on her shoulders. “There’s no hurry. The boys won’t be back for at least fifteen ticks.”

            Her green eyes narrowed. “Did you tell them to delay?”

His hands slid down her slick muscular arms to her hands. “I wanted you to have a moment to
relax and unwind.”

“There’s no way I’m going to be able to calm down.” Amanda’s antsy squirming and warm
hands on his chest told him she was burning up with need. “I feel as if my blood is jumping through my veins.”

He took her seat and pulled her down on his lap. The hard pounding of his erection screamed for release again. His body wanted her as much as she needed him. “I could help.”

The bobbing of Amanda’s breasts in the clear water caught and held his attention. He seized the creamy swells and toyed with the tips.

  1. Watch love scenes or romantic comedies. What is happening in those scenes that you wish you could try? Develop it in your relationship. (A love scene in the park – try your back yard or deck.) New places can always add a thrill to the mix.
  2. Talk about it – the more you think or talk about sex the more you begin to see the potential of enjoying yourself.
  3. Be adventurous – buy sexy underwear, go commando, visit an adult toy store, do things that open your mind to new ideas. No one says you have to try them but at least let your mind play with the idea.

Hopefully, one of these suggestions will provide you with a way to increase the element of fun in your sex life. Then you can discover the joy of playing with your partner both in and out of bed.

Have fun,

Anita Philmar


1 comment:

Laura said...

Hmm, good post and good advice. We don't talk about it much but we've done #3. *g* I highly recommend it.