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Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday Author Spotlight: Mysti Holiday
1. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue. Many, many, many moons ago I worked in a bar – first as a cocktail waitress and then as a bartender. Want to know how to get good tips? Be able to cure the hiccups (pour a short glass of water, hand it to the customer, light a match and drop it in and then tell them to drink immediately – works every single time) and be able to something both amazing and sexy (like tying a cherry stem with your tongue). I made a point of learning how to tie the cherry stem. And I always got great tips (it helped that I put blow jobs on special regularly – get your mind of the gutter ... I’m talking about the drink). My favorite thing to do then was walk up to a guy and say, “We have blow jobs on special – how many would you like?”
2. I can pick things up with my toes. I’m not sure if I’m unusually dexterous, if my toes are abnormally long, or if I just don’t like bending over. But as long as the object isn’t massively heavy or huge, I can nab it with those suckers.
3. I can’t stand the feel of construction paper. I especially can’t fold it with my fingers... I’m shivering right now just thinking about it. If I have to fold construction paper, I have to use a tool of some kind: a ruler, a pencil ... I simply can NOT touch the stuff. ::::shudders:::
4. Bananas make me gag. I want to like them. They’re such an easy fruit to take places and so tidy to eat. Every now and then, I’ll try to eat them. I really give it an honest try. But ... BLECH. I can’t even stand the flavor in candies or baked goods, or just the smell. It’s enough to make me run for the nearest wastebasket or toilet bowl.
5. I’m always cold. Last summer, in the 100+ degree HHH (Hazy, Hot, Humid) weather, I still slept in flannel jammies. I never put on a pair of shorts even once. I drank hot coffee every morning while the rest of my family dripped sweat. Thankfully, my husband is an oven and doesn’t mind me putting my ice cold tootsies on his roasting hot bod.
6. I can’t grow roses. I have a remarkable green thumb, and can grow just about anything, but roses I kill. I can’t grow hardy ones, or climbing ones, or the cute little miniature ones you can keep inside your house. Roses hate me. Which breaks my heart, because I really love them: their look, their feel, their smell. But I’ve stopped trying, because they always die and I feel horribly guilty. I’m a cold-blooded (literally – see #5 ... ha!) murderer.
7. I talk to inanimate object. And to insects. To my dog, my coffee pot, the phone, myself. Pretty much, I talk. A lot. And I don’t need anyone else there to listen.
8. I don’t care about shoes. Or purses. Or makeup. Or jewelry. I’m not a girlie-girl and probably own five pairs of shoes, if you count my slippers. I just don’t get what the deal is about shoes. Or purses. Anyone want to clue me in?
9. I had a friend who got her best ideas (or remembered things she forgot) when she was on the toilet. Yes, really. Me? I do best right before I fall asleep ... I don’t know if my brain loosens up, or what happens, but if I can’t remember something, I just tell myself, “I’ll remember it.” and then go on about my business. Then ... hours later, I’ll either wake up from a sound sleep and have it, or will remember in the moment right before I nod off.
10. Despite being remarkably competent and able to do most things I set my mind to, there are a number of things I don’t like to do. Then? I play helpless woman because there ought to be bennies to having a period every month. I have a friend who goes crazy because none of the guys at Home Depot ever offer to help her – when she’s loading bags of gravel or buying bricks. Me? I get help every time, and never even have to ask. I used to go into auto supply stores (pre- Mr. Mysti) and go to part. “I need wiper blade refills for my car, can you help me find them?” They would. Then, “Can you tell me how to put these on? I’ve never done it.” Actually, I have, but I hate doing it. 99% of the time? The guy would say, “Let me just go do it for you.” Yeah, I really love being a woman.
What about you? Got anything you want to share? Quirks? Habits? Dirty Little Secrets? I’d love for you to dish!
Visit Mysti at her blog or website.