So this week I’ve been talking about some of the reasons men love bitches. If a woman always maintains that independence, that mystery, that high value on herself, a man will never feel he’s totally conquered her and will have to keep trying. I must say, I do love the idea of my husband continually trying to win me. Sigh.
What did guys have to say? They said they like a woman who can put them in their place, who can banter and give back as good as she gets, who won’t put up with being treated badly. They also like a woman who likes sex (big surprise) but not just sex that’s all about pleasing him, but that’s about getting her own pleasure, too. When he knows she’s loving sex, he feels like a god. So ladies, remember - make sure it’s good for you!
If a man treats a woman with disrespect and she allows it, he begins to lose respect for her. I know this happened to me with a guy I dated – he broke up with me to go back to his old girlfriend, then when he decided that was a mistake, I took him back. And, I’m ashamed to say, not just once. He would see her even when we were supposedly back together. I let it go on and I know he lost respect for me because of that. I wish I’d had enough self esteem to kick his ass out and never let him back in.
Interestingly I see some of this in my most recent release, Lost and Found (Samhain Publishing). Krissa is a pleaser. She suspected her husband of cheating on her, but didn’t deal with it, perhaps because she would rather be with him than be alone. He blames her for the problems in her marriage and she accepts that blame, accepts how he makes her feel not good enough. When she finally learns to value herself, learns to not put up with being treated with disrespect, and isn’t afraid to be alone - she finally finds true love.