Some of the advice in Why Men Love Bitches I already knew. Some of it I learned from my own mother, but perhaps I just grew up in the many years I’ve been married.
I love the advice about maintaining financial independence, something I have always been adamant about for myself. Ms Argov’s premise is that if a man has to carry a woman financially, he’ll feel as though she’s an added responsibility instead of an asset (note that she’s clear that if a woman is staying home to raise children, this is very different and she is doing the hardest work in the world). But times have changed. My mom never worked after she got married, and I wonder how much pressure my father felt to support the family, all on his own. I know there were some tough times for my parents, as there have been for me and my husband, yet when it came to finances, we were a team and it was a shared responsibility.
On the other hand, if you come across as too independent, and capable of doing everything, you’ll get stuck doing everything. Been there and done that! Men will do what they can get away with and if you do it all, they’ll let you - but there’s a price to pay. When he starts taking you for granted, he’s lost that feeling of wanting more, and instead he starts feeling like you’re his mother. You don’t want him to think of you as his mother. Trust me.
Tomorrow: More marriage advice