According to author Sherry Argov’s Attraction Principle #1, anything a person chases runs away. Have you ever had someone interested in you (could be a man or could be just someone seeking friendship) who came on too strong, who seemed too needy?
When that has happened to me, I have this feeling that if someone’s that needy and that interested in me, there’s something wrong with them and I should run the other way. So if it applies to women, surely it applies to men just as much.
More of what the book has to say: Men are competitive. They want to compete, they want to win. If he feels he has to win you over, he’s going to place a higher value on you. He wants to be the pursuer. So don’t chase him. Act like the prize he can win. Leave him wanting more.
Women want safety and predictability whereas men want danger and excitement. So don’t be predictable and that element of danger will attract him.
Why in this day of women being equal to men, should women NOT go after what they want? We can do that in our careers, in other parts of our lives, why not when it comes to men?
Also interesting were interviews with men, where they talked about “playing it cool “ so they don’t appear weak or desperate – with other men. So if men play that game even with other men, why shouldn’t women play it?
I think the key is not to “play games”. Don’t pretend you’re too busy to see him one night – be too busy to see him one night. Have a life. Have something you’re genuinely passionate about. Don’t just act like the prize he has to win – believe you are the prize he has to win. Love your life, with him or without him.
Tomorrow: Marriage advice