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Monday, May 24, 2010

Monday Spotlight: Gail Koger

The Joys of Menopause


Gail Koger

Menopause is the transition period in a woman’s life when her ovaries go on strike and all hell breaks loose. We become a human roller coaster. One minute we’re fine; the next we’re Attila the Hun in a dress.

Here are the fun things you get to look forward to:

#1 - Hair starts growing in places you really rather it didn’t and you suddenly look like Groucho Marx. If that wasn’t bad enough, you realize you’re getting a little thin on top. Okay, you can give your husband a run for his money. Buying several wigs will take care of that little problem until the hot flashes hit.

#2 - With one look you can send grown men running for their lives. Okay, the knife clenched in your fist doesn’t hurt either.

#3 – Deprived of chocolate you have the ability to take down an armed felon without breaking a sweat or a nail. Hey, who needs the S.W.A.T. team?

#4 – You don’t need a sauna, you are one. Those wonderful sweat stains and sodden hair are so very becoming.

#5 – Chocolate is the only thing standing between you and a life behind bars.

#6 – Your sex drive sputters to a complete and utter stop. If a lap dance from a hot Chippendale dancer doesn’t get you excited, your husband’s in for a long dry spell.

I tried everything from Black Cohosh to soy to Evening Primrose Oil and finally settled on Prempo to keep my homicidal tendencies under control. The good news is, the police no longer do hourly drive-bys on my house, my hot flashes are gone and my sex drive is back. Now where did I put my little black negligee?

BIO: I was a 9-1-1 dispatcher for thirty-one years and to keep insanity at bay, I took up writing. Not to worry. The insanity isn’t catching – much. Other than the addiction to chocolate and the twitch in my left eye, I’m good. I’ve had my weird but true stories published in newspapers and magazines. My first book was The Ghost Wore Polyester, a murder mystery/comedy set in Sedona, Arizona. Just My Luck, a science fiction romance, was reviewed by Chris at Night Owl Romance and received four out of five hearts. Lisa at Joyfully Reviewed called it an incredibly fun read. My third book is The Warlord’s Comeuppance, which will be released by Whispers Publishing on July 9th. I’ve also worked with producer, Bonnie Forbes of Fortress Features on several reality TV series.


1 comment:

booklover0226 said...

I hear ya', Gail.

About 3 years ago, I told my male co-workers that I was pre-menopausal and it could last 10 years. I have never seen a bunch of men break out in a sweat at the same time! LOL

Tracey D