Let’s talk Men and Erotica
Why is it that women are ‘supposed’ to like erotica and men are ‘supposed’ to like porn? I know people of both genders who enjoy each. I’ve had lovers who really got off when I asked them to read an erotica to me. Most times we had to break the story into two or three lovemaking sessions because we both were into the story and then each other. Especially when we touch during the hot scenes.
I’m not saying I need reading erotica for a fulfilling love life but it helps set the mood. I think it ‘s due to the emotional impact of erotica and, when you settle in with your lover to read one, you right away are giving one another your gift of time. Reading comes with an unspoken expectation of time spent. That’s one of the reasons people give for not reading—not enough time. Kids always want more time with their parents; lovers more time alone with one another. Emotion and time are powerful elements for intimacy and great sex.
Too often men are not given credit for either their emotional needs or their time and effort. That’s where this silliness about men supposing to like only porn comes from. Sure guys are visual and seeing others naked or in the act of sex is arousing. Many confess to enjoying the attention given to them over a longer period of time.
Just last year, Cosmopolitan Magazine had an article about fifty ways to please your guy “down there”. For his birthday, my fella got one a day for fifty days. Some were as simple as tapping a fingertip lightly on the tip of his ‘willy’. He told me afterwards that he loved doing those whether or not we took it any further. It was all about the anticipation, emotion and time: thinking about it throughout the day, clearing the tv watching schedule to get in bed early, how our hands touching or a smile sent his way no longer went unnoticed, how the innuendos crept into our conversations and a kiss lingered. Oh wait, didn’t I just describe some elements we ladies love in our erotica novels? I do believe I did!