The Importance of Realizing Your Own Beauty
As a woman who likes to both read and write Rubenesque or BBW romance and erotica I am very aware of the importance of realizing all forms of beauty. Often I will see the hero in the story having to convince the plus-size heroine that she is beautiful and that makes me sad. Though I realize low self-esteem is a widespread issue (and not just for plus-sizes, I'm talking to every woman out there who picks her body apart daily for whatever reasons,) I wish that every person could look in the mirror and see beauty.
If you could look at yourself, really look at yourself, without comparing your body to the latest Hollywood starlet's, what would you see? A kind face, sharp eyes, nice skin? Try it sometime. If no one had ever told you that women were supposed to have flat stomachs, large breasts, long legs, and little body fat what would you be seeing in the mirror? Answer: Yourself without judgment. I'm not saying it's easy to realize your own beauty and appreciate your body and who you are. I'm saying it's necessary. It's hard to be happy when you're always down on yourself. Not to mention that it leaves you vulnerable to people that would use that against you. There are loads of them out there. Watch any daytime talk show and you'll see men controlling women by telling them 'you're so ugly, fat, (insert your own negative adjective,) that no one else could love you but me.'
Now, we all know the guy is lying but she doesn't. And haven't we all let someone control us in that way to a smaller extent? Those are more extreme cases but think about how often we have allowed a snide remark from someone else to make us doubt our self-worth. It's the same thing. Now, I'm not saying we should all be cocky. I just want people to see the beautiful, kind, intelligent creatures that writers see when we create heroines and heroes. Don't wait for someone else to make you feel beautiful. You already are. You just need to see it.